Sometimes you get busy. We understand. You just want to flop into bed at night. I’ll brush my teeth in the morning, you think, as you’re drifting off to sleep. We’ve all been there. In the morning, though, you’re going to make sure to floss and brush your teeth extra carefully, right? RIGHT?
See, here’s the thing. You may think that what goes on in your mouth stays in your mouth, and to a certain extent, that’s true. But the fact is, the minute you step out of your parents’ basement, you’re dealing with other human beings. And trust us, if your breath stinks, they will know it.
Excuses, Excuses, Excuses…
But I’m a student, you say. I spend most of my time sitting in the back of the classroom, texting my friends. And then I’m sitting in the library, checking out my Facebook stats. Nobody’s gonna notice if my breath’s a little raggedy.
That girl you met last week in the data center when you were downloading your friend’s older sister’s economics essay? She thought you were kind of cute, but she didn’t appreciate the sausage and eggs with toast and marmite you had for breakfast.
How many skim lattes did you drink this morning? Do you have any idea what that smells like an hour after you’ve licked the last foam from the lid? Dude. Please don’t say you smoke, on top of that. Not only are you no longer a chick magnet, but you are now officially a chick repellant.
So, in case this hasn’t been clear enough, let us break it down for you a little further.
Here Are the Reasons
Reason #1 – People you may find attractive will keep their distance from you if you smell like a sour version of this morning’s breakfast. Coffee drinkers and cigarette smokers – you suffer an additional burden of ridding your mouth of the most tenacious and difficult to overcome mouth odors.
Reason #2 – At some point, you will be working for a living. Hard to imagine, but it’s true. And your professional colleagues have standards almost as high as the cuties you are trying to attract. Nothing says “Get me to the unemployment line” quicker than poor personal hygiene. Clean up your act! You’re in the real world now!
Reason #3 – Self-confidence is a great quality to possess. It opens many doors for you, both personal and professional. “But,” you whine, “I don’t feel confident. In fact, I’m painfully shy, self-conscious and insecure.” Well guess what? So are most people. But there’s a trick. It’s called acting “as if.” Also known as “fake it till you make it,” this technique is guaranteed to get you past the rough parts until you gain a little more confidence. And clean, fresh breath just gives you one less thing to worry about while you’re trying to make a good impression.
Reason #4 – It’s the environment, man. There are so many toxic fumes being released into the atmosphere, why add to the smells? You can be part of the solution, and not the problem. Think of your community. Do it for them. Sure, eat that pepperoni pizza, that pasta primavera with extra garlic… just do us all a favor, and pop a breath mint afterwards.
Reason #5 – You owe it to yourself. Bad breath is typically a sign of poor hygiene. Sometimes it can be due to digestive issues or some other medical problem, but most of the time it’s because you are not brushing properly, not flossing regularly, not rinsing your mouth out with water after a particularly odorous meal, or not using mouthwash, gum or mints when you are experiencing particularly rough traffic.
Do yourself a favour, do the world a favour, pay attention to your breath! It’s worth it. You’ll feel better about yourself and be a pleasure to those around you. And by the way, that spinach stuck between your two front teeth? It’s not cute.